Depression has suddenly kicked in. Maybe its because of yesterdays clinic check up. It seemed to have not gone so well. Apparently my BP is high and my weight increase for this month has gone over the limit. And it will be the GTT test again for me. That will make it my third one hence the referral to the Dietician.
On top of that, I received some news that someone has been talking about me behind my back accusing me of being jealous. oh please! I would think I wouldn't act so "hormonal" if I wasn't pregnant, but being as I am, 7 mths pregnant, on hearing such accusations, it somehow disrupted my day. I have become truly upset. My sleep was disturbed and tears kept on streaming down my face. Okay, thats just not me. On any normal un-pregnant day, I would feel upset for an hour or so then just shrug it. But this time, haiyaaa!
So last night was the first. I was up all night thinking and came to the realization that I somehow feel very alone. Yes, I have a husband but he can't cater for my feelings all the time. If I did tell him my true feelings, I would probably get "Biar tia, atu dosa nya...just forget it lah". So being the quiet, un-nagging wife that I am, I just kept it to myself. Yes, I do have a family but...it was someone in the family that has accused me of being jealous. It doesn't make sense. When someone in your family has been successful, do you think I am ridiculously SAD to be jealous. Of course I should be proud. Yet, it seems that someone thinks money and status is everything. In my eyes, if you reached the jackpot, may it be through good intentions or bad, that is your rezeki. Excuse me but I am perfectly happy with my life. I have my house, my loving husband and my bun in the oven. I do not need a million dollars to put a smile on my face. I have all that I need. Yes, I may struggle with my finances at times but I do not need to rely on others to live. I make my own living, I am independent and I can be proud of that. Furthermore, I am thankful, I am happy, I am content. So, stuff that where the sun don't shine!
I can't wait for this lil one to arrive. I'm sure he/she will be the only thing that will change how I feel. Please come fast Baby, Mummy feels very lonely and only you can change that!
On top of that, I received some news that someone has been talking about me behind my back accusing me of being jealous. oh please! I would think I wouldn't act so "hormonal" if I wasn't pregnant, but being as I am, 7 mths pregnant, on hearing such accusations, it somehow disrupted my day. I have become truly upset. My sleep was disturbed and tears kept on streaming down my face. Okay, thats just not me. On any normal un-pregnant day, I would feel upset for an hour or so then just shrug it. But this time, haiyaaa!
So last night was the first. I was up all night thinking and came to the realization that I somehow feel very alone. Yes, I have a husband but he can't cater for my feelings all the time. If I did tell him my true feelings, I would probably get "Biar tia, atu dosa nya...just forget it lah". So being the quiet, un-nagging wife that I am, I just kept it to myself. Yes, I do have a family but...it was someone in the family that has accused me of being jealous. It doesn't make sense. When someone in your family has been successful, do you think I am ridiculously SAD to be jealous. Of course I should be proud. Yet, it seems that someone thinks money and status is everything. In my eyes, if you reached the jackpot, may it be through good intentions or bad, that is your rezeki. Excuse me but I am perfectly happy with my life. I have my house, my loving husband and my bun in the oven. I do not need a million dollars to put a smile on my face. I have all that I need. Yes, I may struggle with my finances at times but I do not need to rely on others to live. I make my own living, I am independent and I can be proud of that. Furthermore, I am thankful, I am happy, I am content. So, stuff that where the sun don't shine!
I can't wait for this lil one to arrive. I'm sure he/she will be the only thing that will change how I feel. Please come fast Baby, Mummy feels very lonely and only you can change that!
2 comments:
It really hurts when people say nasty things about you but that is just a reflection of them and their insecurities and not you. They are jealous and hateful, there is not a grain of truth in anything they say.I know how wonderful and kind you are and that baby A is very lucky to have such a wonderful mummy!
Lots of hugs and kisses.
Adrina
Hey sweetie,
Awwww~ Thanks
All has been sorted out...took me two days to shrug it off but all is well now.
U take care kay!
xoxox
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